E = MC squared
Or
Estrogen = Menopausal Chaos Squared.
So what has this to do with journeys and travel? Well let me explain myself – the hormonal journey has as much drama, mystery and potential for disaster as a world cruise.
Estrogen or oestrogen is with us from birth and literally shapes us physically and mentally. When we reach puberty it is this hormone which is responsible, for example, for our growth spurt and for depositing that unwanted fat around our pelvis, hips and, buttocks. This is of course all about preparing us to carry children, which is another hormonal journey, but we are interested in the other end of the cycle when the hormones are leaving the body causing chaos to us physically and mentally. Why do I use the word chaos? Here is a definition of chaos:
“ the property of a complex system whose behaviour is so unpredictable as to appear random, owing to great sensitivity to small changes in conditions”
How apt is that? Just at a time in your life when you should be kicking back, developing some self-assurance and be enjoying a slightly less pressured life, your hormones gang up on you and throw some curved balls. “Random?” Nobody knows how it is going to affect them and there is nothing you can do to prevent what happens. No good diet, healthy exercise plan or money in the bank will make any difference. It affects us all differently and the advice and support available are just as random. One friend was told by her doctor to treat herself to some new glasses and buy a cardigan, another friend felt she was almost pushed towards HRT and another was told: “What do you expect at your age?” In the same way that nobody can predict if they will suffer from post-natal depression, nobody knows whether they will be affected by depression, lack of confidence or black days where life seems almost unbearable. A cousin of mine has a day which they refer to in their house as “Bloody Bread Day”. It is marked annually as the day where she finally snapped and threw the very uncooperative bread dough at her husband who was not being in the least bit sensitive to her somewhat less than sunny disposition.
One of the aspects of this which interests me most is that that this is perceived as 100% a women’s issue. It is up there with sports bras and the menstrual cycle as a topic of conversation which can clear a room of its male incumbents in seconds, sending them off to their sheds. If you tell a man that you cannot focus for a couple of minutes until your hot flush passes they almost recoil in horror. It is discussed on “Women’s Hour” of course but men have a horror of such things even though it would be very good for them to understand the effects of hormonal change on their female partners and friends. Too many men, the whole women hormone thing is one great cloud of ignorance and an excuse to explain women’s behaviour. While teaching, I witnessed many occasions when a teenage boy would accuse a justifiably angry female teacher of being: “on the rag” or being: “a menopausal bitch.” The urban dictionary defines the menopause as:
“ A special time in a woman’s life when they can’t have babies anymore. They get hormonal, mean, rude, short-tempered, angry, and awkward. Bad time for teenagers to live with their moms.”
Jings!
So, those of you in the sisterhood of the menopause we need to take action to educate those around us and especially our sons and daughters so that they can be, on the one hand, more understanding and on the other, better prepared. When I was teaching, I prepared many young people for the hormonal roller coaster which is puberty. Everything was discussed, from wet dreams to pubic hair, as we tried to educate young people and help them find a way to cope with some massive changes in their lives. Everybody understands how big the changes of puberty are. Most people do not understand the massive changes which happen in the menopause, partly because the changes are not obvious on the outside, but also perhaps because they don’t happen to men. There is no preparation for the menopause you only get to talk about it with close friends and then some of these close friends will be of no use at all as they will say “hot flushes? No, never had one,” as you undo that cardigan and start flapping your hand in front of your face – pointlessly.
So ladies, as you chart your way through your menopause, however it is treating you, speak out and share, give yourself a break and do what you need to do. Never feel bad that you are feeling bad, it’s okay to have a hard time. Don’t feel pressured by a society which doesn’t want to talk about the menopause and doesn’t take it seriously. A change is coming with well-known female presenters discussing it and working hard to make talking about the menopause much more mainstream.
Your menopausal journey won’t last forever and it will be easier to travel with the knowledge that it is something which happens to us all, to varying degrees, of course. A journey with friends is always better and a menopause shared is a menopaused managed. I would never say halved. So come out from behind those cardigans, look the world in the eye and state: “I am menopausal live with me!”
Good luck.
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